On Top
by To Be A Necessity
Summary: After returning from her near-death experience, Eli notices that Clare is acting strangely. Her bipolarity is making it hard to talk things out. What they don't know is that it's going to get a lot worse. Eli/Clare/Goliah Only Hope second book.
1. Forgiving and Forgetting

It was a dreary Saturday morning at the hospital, but it was one that Eli would never give up seeing the day of. It was the day that Clare would be allowed to go home with him, where she wouldn't have to think about last year.

He watched as Clare mumbled something under her breath, tossing and turning as she woke up. Her eyes slowly opened and a smile spread on her lips.

"Today's the day," she excitedly said as she rubbed her eyes. Eli chuckled at his girlfriend.

"It's going to be a day worth living." He replied, taking her hand in his. Her cheeks hadn't warmed into the pinkish red tone that she used to have; she had become partially lifeless since coming to the hospital. It was like she was… drained… from all the meanings of life. But not once did Eli (or Clare) tell anyone of the night's events.

It was something special between them and _only_ between them—when Adam would ask about the events that night they wouldn't say a word but smile at their best friend. The memories that they shared showed the tight bond that they didn't think they had.

"Are you ready to leave?" Eli asked cautiously. "I mean, yeah, you've been here for a while, but are you sure that you are ready to face the world again?"

Clare looked over at her boyfriend while she thought in consideration. "I believe I am," she replied. "I _feel_ like it—I'm so tired of having to remember all of this. I want to start over like I can once I leave here." She spaced out, staring at the wall like she had been for several days.

Eli smiled at Clare, but deep inside he was worrying about her. He had never seen Clare so out of it before; she hadn't been herself since he had found her. That was likely, since the afterlife usually changes you, but Eli didn't know what to think of her at the moment. Was she going to stay like this forever? He didn't like having this Clare who was always deep in thought; he wanted the kind and funny Clare Edwards—the one who didn't have an abusive father or a bad boyfriend. Eli promised himself that he would never leave her side.

Clare's fingers caressed the mark on her neck. She barely remembered that it was there before—all of the swelling and bruising had disappeared. The only thing that was left was a small mark. "Do you think we'll be able to forget all of this?" She asked curiously. Eli's tired emerald eyes connected with her.

"If you want to you can, but I think it's best to remember the past so that you don't make the same mistakes."

Clare's expression hardened. "Do you mean that I was making the _wrong_ choice?" She almost growled, causing Eli to lean his head away from her.

"No," he defensively said. Clare relaxed in her bed. "Why do you think I would say that?"

Clare shrugged. "I don't know," she confirmed. "I just thought that you were saying that _I_ was the one with the messed up past."

Eli scoffed. "What does that mean?" He murmured, trying not to raise his voice. But how could he not—she was firing this on him!

Clare rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, Elijah. Two of your girlfriends have died; doesn't that teach you _something_?"

Eli stood from his chair, having enough accusations pointed at him. "Clare, when you're done bitching about my bad past, I'll come back. Otherwise your big mouth and you are on your own." Eli left the room in a swift movement, leaving a gaping Clare.

"You bastard!" She yelled at no one. A nurse who had heard her came to her room, a concerned expression growing on her face.

"Is something wrong, sweetie?" She asked. Clare shook her head, a sad smile playing at her lips.

"No miss, I'm sorry; I was fighting with my boyfriend."

The nurse looked at her again, curious as to what to do. A silence engulfed between the two, and the only noise that was heard was from the IV that Clare was connected to. "Okay, but remember—don't forget how much people mean to you. One day they may be gone."

When the nurse was out of the room, Clare's face turned grave. "Yeah, right." She sarcastically muttered under her breath, playing with her hands. Clare was bored; without Eli, there was nothing to do. But she didn't feel sorry for what she had said; she was telling the truth. He was the one who had gotten her stuck in this situation, almost killing her.

Clare had forgotten all about Julia; she didn't even remember who she was. Julia wasn't worth anything to her anymore. More importantly, she forgot to tell Eli Julia's message to him.

A knock on the threshold made Clare jump, but she calmed down once she saw that it was Cece. "Hey," Clare said, a little surprised. Cece's face was sympathetic.

"Hey honey," Cece walked over to the side of Clare's bed, sitting on the edge that was vacant. "I just wanted to check on you; how's everything been going?"

Clare looked at her hands again, shrugging. "It's been better," she mumbled. Cece noticed her discomfort.

"Where's Eli?"

Another silence. "He left."

"Why? I thought he was bringing you home-"

"I told him off," Clare admitted. "I told him that he should've learned something from having two dead girlfriends." The last part was barely coherent, but Cece had good enough hearing.

"You what?" She gasped. Clare looked up at her.

"I know it was wrong, but he deserved it. He was scrutinizing me."

"Oh Clare," Cece brought her hand reassuringly to Clare's leg. "He doesn't mean anything like that. He only cares about _you_, and I would know. You are all he talks about."

Clare breathed out a smile as she looked Cece in the eyes. "Really?" She asked hopefully.

Cece laughed. "Of course, Clare! He loves you." With those three words, Clare smiled at Cece, but inside she was frozen. Eli… _loved_… her? They hadn't even been going out that long! She wasn't sure how to respond to Cece.

"Yeah," she replied, looking for a distraction. She looked at her phone. "I want to go to the Dot; do you mind checking me out?" Without hesitation Cece agreed with Clare, signing her out as they left the hospital. Clare felt the cool breeze caress her arms; it had been so long since she had been outside.

"Will we see you later tonight? Eli had told me that you were moving in." Cece's teasing gesture made Clare laugh.

"Of course," Clare responded, straining out a laugh. "Where am I going to sleep, anyways? In the guest room?"

Cece laughed as she shook her head. When she got to the driver's car of her SUV, she smirked back at Clare. "We have no guest room."

Clare stood frozen where she was, watching Cece laugh and drive away. Was she serious? She was going to have to sleep with Eli, all by themselves in _his room_?

She shuddered the though out of her mind. There went the "Saint" side of her.

_On Top_

The door's bell rung throughout the Dot as it always had when she went here. Peter's head rose as he looked at who entered, a smile enticing. Clare grinned back. "Well, well, well, look who's here. After how long?"

Clare shrugged her shoulders. "No idea," she laughed, looking up at the menu displayed on the wall. "I'll just take a coffee to go."

Peter nodded, getting to work while the smile stayed attached to him. He hadn't seen an Edward in so long; Clare had changed so much. She was becoming an adult, like Darcy probably was.

"How's the family?" Peter asked after a second. Clare blinked once before looking at him.

"What?" She asked.

"How's your family?" Peter repeated, taking her coffee to the counter. Clare exchanged it with the cash she had on her.

Clare's smile died down as she took her coffee. "I don't really have one anymore," she murmured. When she saw Peter's confusion, she decided that she would tell him later. "Maybe I can come in… later this week and tell you the whole story. It's too long for me to describe in a few sentences."

Peter brought his arms to the counter, swaying his weight back and fourth. "If you say so," he agreed, watching as Clare left. "Was that her?" Peter asked to his right, looking down at the gloomy boy who sat to the closest table next to him.

The boy's bright blue eyes were now hazed, making them appear as a medium gray. His brown hair was shaggy and oily at the roots. His appearance didn't make him look any more outgoing than he already looked. The boy's brown sweatshirt was lifted to cover his hair.

"Yeah," the musky voice said, a darkened voice behind it.

* * *

**Aren't you glad that the storyline is starting once again? I know I am :)**

**5 reviews (5 total) and the next chapter will come up.**

**Preview:**

"But don't you love me?" Clare asked incredulously. Eli looked at her with knowing eyes.

"You know I do," he desperately spoke. Clare was breaking down for the second time in two days. Tears fell down her face as she grabbed a handful of her hair.

"Why can't you love me?" She screamed in a broken sob. Eli couldn't speak; he could only stare.


	2. Sure Doesn't Feel Like It

Clare entered the Goldsworthy household for the first time this year. 2011 was something that Clare wasn't going to regret; she was going to make it the best year of her life to discard the happenings of December. She opened the door, recognizing the scent immediately.

This was home; maybe not to anyone else, but this was her safety net. She was safe here, and she knew that.

"Hello?" Clare asked, closing the door behind her. She jumped as she saw Eli standing halfway in the dark shadow from the night, his arms crossed. Clare held a hand to her heart. "Oh my gosh, you scared me."

Eli's blank expression didn't change, but Clare could see that his eyes told everything about what he was feeling. She took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry for earlier today," she admitted. "I know that talking about your past is a hard thing, but I don't know what happened. It all of a sudden just… happened."

Eli's eyes softened slightly, but there was still that sharp edge to them. Clare shifted her weight nervously. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked after a moment of silence.

Clare looked up at him, nodding her head. "I'm all good," she said, mustering up a smile. Eli half smirked, walking over to Clare and embracing her in a 'welcome home' greeting. "So what're we gonna do first?" She pondered, walking around the large living room. Eli shrugged.

"Whatever you want to," he said with complete honestly, smiling genuinely at Clare. One of Clare's eyebrows rose.

"_Anything_?" She asked. Eli didn't seem to understand the repetition of what he said, but he still nodded.

Clare made her way to Eli, kissing him tenderly. Eli went along with it as he lightly held Clare's waist, pulling her closer. What Eli hadn't expected was Clare pushing him onto the couch, straddling him with a smirk. Eli, although comfortable, put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to stop from where she was.

"Uh… what're you doing?" He smirked. Clare looked for some meaning in his eyes.

"What I want to." She stated, trying again. Eli held onto her shoulders with more force than before.

"And what might that be?" He asked. Eli was now pushing himself up on the couch, distancing Clare about half a foot away. He waited for her to reply with some sarcastic remark, but she didn't. He looked over at her to see that she was crying, her eyes red and swollen. "What's wrong?" Eli asked alarmingly, pulling her into a hug. Clare pushed him away from her.

"But don't you love me?" Clare asked incredulously. Eli looked at her with knowing eyes.

"You know I do," he desperately spoke. Clare was breaking down for the second time in two days. Tears fell down her face as she grabbed a handful of her hair.

"Why can't you love me?" She screamed. Eli could already hear his parents waking up.

"Whoa Clare," Eli tried quieting her, but it wasn't working. Clare was walking up to Eli's room, Eli trailing behind her. "Something else must be bothering you; I mean, for a second you're all seductive and then the next your screaming at me. What's wrong?"

Clare had stopped crying and was now at the front of Eli's room. She walked over to where her suitcase, which Eli had found for her, was. She took the contents out of the suitcase, kicking it afterwards. "God!" She yelled, forgetting that Eli was there.

"Clare," Eli repeated over and over until he was finally able to keep Clare still. Clare's tearstained cheeks were pale, as were her eyes. "Its okay, Clare." He told her, but he wasn't so sure himself. "Just calm down, calm down."

Clare turned quiet after a few moments as she rubbed underneath her eyes. She looked around at the damage that she had done to Eli's room. "Sorry," she sheepishly said with a 'please forgive me' smile. Eli no longer felt sympathy for her.

"Come with me," he told her, walking down the stairs at a quickened pace. Clare had trouble keeping up with him.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she got into the passenger side of the'59 Cadillac hearse, but Eli didn't respond. The road trip was silent for a while until Eli pulled over on an abandoned street. Clare's eyes were full of confusion and curiosity, but as she looked over at Eli's expression she knew that he wasn't feeling the same way.

"Close your eyes; I'm going to put a blindfold over you. I'm not going to let you peek at your surprise." Clare quietly squealed in excitement—she loved surprises! She let Eli put a piece of fabric over her eyes, and once his hands disappeared from the sides of her head the car was moving again.

Clare listened to the music, tapping her foot with the beat. She frowned as the radio turned off and heard Eli sigh. "Is it time yet?" She asked cautiously.

"No, but I have to get out for a second." Eli honestly replied. Clare shrugged.

"As long as you don't leave me here," she teased, hearing the driver's door close. She hummed to herself as she waited for Eli to return.

_On Top_

The door opening on her side of the car startled her, but she smiled as she waited to hear Eli's voice again. "Are you ready?" She asked, and she heard another sigh.

"I am, Clare." Eli replied. "Now follow my lead; I'm going to take your hand in mine." Clare didn't mind this one bit; she loved holding Eli's hand. As she got out of the car she could feel the cool night breeze of midwinter. She stumbled several times but ended up making it to wherever the surprise was, her smile never faltering.

Clare could hear Eli talking to someone under his breath; she didn't understand why he was doing so. As she reached to take the blindfold off, one of Eli's hands stopped her.

"No, Clare." He told her like she was a little kid. Clare's hand went back to her side, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to stand blinded for any longer.

Eli brought her hands behind her; something that Clare didn't seem to understand. Clare laughed as she felt something attach her two hands together. "What's this, Eli?" She asked, almost seductively, as his hands left hers. Eli took the blindfold off of Clare, his face pained. Clare looked around her, seeing only white walls and several workers walking to and from different hallways. "Where are we, Eli?" She demanded, looking for something that was familiar.

"You need help, Clare." He stated, stepping away from her. Two nurses took her arms, carrying her to a room.

"Eli?" She yelled, but then saw that he wasn't coming with her. "Eli!" She yelled, frantic. "Eli! Eli! Eli!"

He was almost crying, watching the scene before him. _"You cannot respond to her once she knows where she is," one of the nurses said._

_Eli nodded. "I won't break that promise."_

Clare kicked her legs in a desperate way to escape, but as she saw that it wasn't going to work, she started breaking down. He screams became sobs and her fearful blue eyes were becoming sober, depressed blues.

A hand on Eli's shoulder caused him to jump. "Don't worry kid; you did the right thing." Clare's doctor told him. Eli looked at Clare's figure being dragged into the room.

"Sure doesn't feel like it," he muttered.

* * *

**Five more reviews (13 total) and the bipolarity increases :)**

**Replies:**

**mrld97 **I know! I'm so happy the sequel's already up :)

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	3. Nothing's Wrong With Me!

**Inside the hospital rooms where Clare is living, three walls are white. The one that is across from the door has a window. The wall with the door is all bars; everyone can see each other across the hall. There is a bathroom that the roommates share which is to the left of the wall with the window. Think like Alcatraz; that kind of thing.**

* * *

Clare tapped the desk impatiently. It had been two days since she had come here. Her roommate, Laurie, looked over at her with a glare. "Can you please _stop_?" She asked impatiently.

Clare looked up at the short girl's face before stopping her tapping. Both of the girls knew that they didn't like each other; the atmosphere felt replaced by a battlefield. "Why are you here, anyways?" Clare asked. Laurie snorted out a laugh before shaking her head, bringing her backpack to a chair at the table.

"I have sudden depression," she explained. Clare's eyebrow rose.

"That doesn't make sense; why are you here, then?"

Laurie rolled her eyes. "Sudden depression for me equals sudden suicide attempt. It's like everything around me becomes a weapon; the adrenaline I get is dangerous."

Clare's expression softened. "It must be scary," she muttered.

"You have no idea, Christian." Laurie replied, looking more interested in her homework than in her roommate. "I'll ask you the same question."

Clare took in a deep breath before shrugging. "My boyfriend sent me here. Last month was… wild… for me. I was beaten by my father, ran away, got caught up in a love triangle and now I'm here after being called out of the hospital."

The room was silent for a moment. "Why were you in the hospital?" Laurie asked curiously, putting down her pencil.

"I was choked," she forced herself to say. Laurie's eyes widened. "I was so close to heaven… but I didn't make it. I'm stuck here."

Clare was waiting for the sympathy that everyone seemed to give her when they found out the news, but Laurie smirked, looking down at her homework. "What?" Clare asked rudely.

"Nothing," Laurie replied. "Just remember that you've gotten a second chance to live your life; that's something that _everyone_ wants once in their life. If I were you, and one of my depression attacks actually went all the way, I would've wanted a second chance. Maybe even more."

Clare sighed. "I'm not that lucky, though." She muttered. Laurie was starting to look annoyed as Clare was deep in thought.

"Whatever you say, Christian." Laurie stated, ending the conversation.

_On Top_

The days went fairly quickly for Clare. She behaved on most days during therapy and schooling in the hospital, but when she got to her room, she was a different person. She would complain about things that bugged her in her day to Laurie, who patiently listened.

But one day, it got out of hand. "She said that I shouldn't have run away from home! Can you believe her? Ugh!" Clare brought a hand up to her hair, grabbing it with unneeded strength.

"Christian," Laurie argued. "Can you please _shut up_ until I finish my homework?"

Clare made a face at her, mocking her roommate. "I can't, though! She's such a bitch!"

"Shut up!" Laurie yelled. Laurie had never yelled at Clare before; her face was red in aggravation. The room was silent, and Laurie went back to doing her homework.

"You sound just like her," Clare muttered under her breath, but Laurie heard.

"Excuse me?" Laurie asked, appalled. "You're being the bitch right now; not me!"

Clare made her way up to where Laurie was sitting, her face unreadable. Laurie raised an eyebrow before feeling the warm heat on her right cheek. Laurie held her cheek lightly in her hand as she looked up at Clare, astonished. Her face was still expressionless.

Laurie quickly got out of her seat, making her way to the bathroom they shared. Clare looked at the door, standing still. She didn't feel anything but _exhilarated_. She just hit a girl.

Clare left the room without a guard's permission, going to her therapist's room at the end of the hall. She smirked as she came to the door, opening it without caring.

The therapist was in there with a boy, one that looked familiar. His blue eyes lightened when Clare came to the door.

Clare made her way to where her therapist, Ms. Challuck, was sitting. Her face was confused. "What are you doing here Clare? We already had your session for today."

"I just wanted to say," Clare admitted. "That I've been holding back my feelings for you. You're a bitch, and you should really switch jobs." Clare's mocking sympathy was replaced by a serious expression. "Before I do something."

Clare left the room, looking back at the boy for a second. He looked too familiar for her to forget him. "Sorry about that, Goliah." Ms. Challuck said, holding a hand to her heart. "I didn't expect her to come in. Here, let's try discussing the topic that we were talking about before the interruption; what about this girl?"

Goliah's eyes were still glued to the door. "That was her." He told her, his gaze never breaking away.

_On Top_

The next day, which was Saturday, was visitor's day for Clare's building. She was hoping that Eli would come so she could at least see him again.

Laurie hadn't talked to Clare since she slapped her. She was nervous to be around her bipolar roommate; what would happen if Clare got worse? Of course, she had told her therapist of what Clare had done, but her therapist seemed unfazed.

"It's a course for a bipolar," she stated, looking down at her clipboard. "It's something that they can't handle; of course, if it bothers you this much, you should remind her of what she had done. She can't help it if it happened."

Laurie wasn't looking for that answer, but she nodded. "Yeah," she said with no agreement. "I guess I'll just have to talk to her."

Looking back at her roommate, pacing in front of the bars in the front of their room, she wondered what she was waiting for. "Hey Clare?" Laurie asked. Clare turned around to look at her, stopping her pacing.

"Yeah?" Clare asked in monotone. Laurie took in a deep breath.

"You remember yesterday? When you… slapped me?"

Clare rolled her eyes, continuing to pace. "Yeah, I remember." She stated.

"I was wondering why you did it." Laurie's voice was lowering.

"I told you; nothing's wrong with me."

"But something is!" Laurie exclaimed louder than she thought. Clare glared at her. "If you're bipolar, then you have sudden mood swings. Yesterday you slapped me for no reason, and I took it. I deserve an apology from you!"

Clare chuckled darkly. "I owe you nothing, _Atheist._ You have nothing on me."

Laurie walked up to Clare, her tone now angered. "You do so, Christian. And you're boyfriend isn't going to come for you, you bipolar freak! He's the one who sent you here!"

Clare punched Laurie in the mouth, but Laurie fought back. The two girls yelled out at each other insultingly, waiting for the other to give in. Laurie kicked Clare in the gut, throwing her back to a wall. "Look at what your denying is doing to you! You're just getting worse!" Clare cried as her retreating body fell down against the wall. "You're here because your boyfriend wanted you to get _help_; something that you aren't taking in. If you want to see him, you have to prove to people here that your bipolarity is under control; not out of whack!"

Laurie left the room with a guard, glaring at Clare until she was out of sight. Clare's brought her knees up to her chest, her crying still strong.

"I'm screwed up," Clare cried. "Nothing's wrong with me."

_On Top_

The cold wind from the window pleased Goliah, but not for long. The door to his room opened unexpectedly. "Who would come see me?" He asked aloud, not looking away from the window.

"I would." A gentle voice at the door said. Goliah turned to see that it actually was his cousin Elijah Goldsworthy.

"You would never come to see me," he replied in haste. "You hate me, and I know it."

Eli didn't move away from the door, but nodded toward the guard; he knew that Goliah wouldn't hurt him. "I want… closure. From last month. We both had a hard time and you were the one that was hurt the most mentally."

Goliah's dead blue eyes stared straight through his emeralds, as if he was looking into Eli's soul. Eli shifted his weight. "Everywhere I look, she's there. This is hell, Eli."

Eli nodded his head. "That's because she's here, also. Clare's bipolar." Eli could barely speak, thinking about what his girlfriend must have been doing right now. "Is she in the same hall as you?"

Goliah shrugged. "I only saw her when she came to my therapy session."

Eli's eyes widened. "What?"

"Everyone here gets a therapy appointment everyday. Clare came in during mine, almost threatening my therapist."

"What'd she say?" Eli worriedly asked.

"You see what I mean?" Goliah questioned, moving away from the window. "You only care about her, Eli; but I care about her, too! You shouldn't have come."

"That's not what I'm saying." Eli argued. "I care about both of you, and I know we need to talk out this whole thing, but I was asking for my well being. I sent her here under her will."

The room stayed silent for a while as Goliah processed the thought. "Why would you do that?" He asked.

"She needed help," he confirmed. "She was having these outrageous mood swings."

"Don't you think that maybe _you_ helped her with becoming a bipolar?" Goliah questioned. "You-" Goliah was cut off by two girls screaming at each other from a floor above his room. Several guards ran by Goliah's room.

"What was that about?" Eli asked. Goliah rolled his eyes.

"Please, Eli. Leave; you aren't helping me." Goliah walked over to his door, watching as Eli followed his orders without a word. Eli turned to look at his cousin from the bars, seeing Goliah return to his window.

"Stop!" One of the guards yelled. Eli turned his head curiously to where all the yelling was coming from.

All the guards were looking up a floor above them, watching a short girl walk _on_ top of the railing of the hall. If she were to become unbalanced, she had half a chance of falling down three floors.

"No!" The girl screamed, continuing her dangerous walk on the rail. Eli noticed that it was Clare.

He stood where he was, frozen; he didn't know whether or not it would help Clare for her to know that he was in the hospital. Clare's arms were held out, slightly twitching as she balanced herself.

"Get off of the railing and get back into your room." One of the guards ordered. "You don't know what you're doing."

"I do know!" Clare yelled at the officer. "I'm proving to everybody that I am _sane_!"

"This isn't showing anyone that!" One of the guards yelled. "You are just going to get into more trouble if you continue this! Please, get off the railing!"  
Clare looked down at the guard, although she couldn't see him, but she froze where she was.

"Good," one of the guards yelled up at her. "Now get off the railing and back to your room."

"I can't feel my legs," she muttered sporadically under her breath. "I can't feel my legs!"

* * *

**Seven more reviews (20 total) and we see what happens to Clare; and I KNOW you can do this!**

**Replies:**

**Eclare4life: **Haha yay! (sarcasm ;))

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**SecretsDishedOut8:** I bet you're really good at writing! If you want help feel free to PM me because I'd love to see you make a fanfic story ;)

**If YOU want to help out with _On Top_ or if you want me to help you with your story, feel free to PM me! I'd be happy to help :) I really want to see more people try writing because it leashes the person inside of you; and that person is beautiful. I know you all can do it!**


	4. It Gets Bad

Clare, petrified, couldn't see anything at the moment. All the things around her were a blur as the shaking in her knees became more pronounced. She didn't dare try to move her numbed legs in case she _did_ fall over the edge.

"Lord, help me," she whispered under her breath, seeing how little she valued her life. "I just want to get better."

She felt her legs unbalance once again and before she knew it she was tilting. Clare yelled as she felt a strong grasp around her waist.

"Calm down, Clare." Eli soothed her, gently pulling her down from the railing. Clare's sobbing didn't quiet down as she hugged him back.

"E—Eli…" she managed to get out after a few attempts, but Eli merely hushed her. He kneeled down so that Clare and he would be sitting on the floor.

Cries racked her whole body as she shivered. Some of the guards had already made their way up to the third floor. "Is she okay?" One of the guards asked. Eli glared up at the man.

"What do you think?" He questioned him. "No security was coming up here to even try and save her! Wait until _I_ get to talk to your manager; he or she won't be too happy to hear this news."

The guard looked regretful as he picked on his collar. "We were told that when these things happen, we shouldn't try to fight them; it just makes it worse."

"If I weren't here," Eli growled. "She would've fallen down all those floors and died. You have no right to defend yourselves; you guys suck at your job." No one talked for a while as everyone listened to Clare cry. Eli could see some of the other residences of the hospital looking outside of the bars to see what all the commotion was.

Eli dismissed the guards after he was annoyed with their presence. Others were going back to their own business. Looking down at Clare, he could tell how worse it had become; he should've been there when he could to see her. He was the only rock that she had; no family, no friends. She barely talked to Alli or Adam anymore since they didn't know much about what happened to her.

Clare murmured something that Eli didn't quite catch. "Say that again?" He asked, rubbing her back.

"I said, when did you get here? I was waiting for you."

"I was with…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say. "A relative. He goes here."

Clare looked up at his expression. "Who?" She asked, rubbing beneath her eyelids. Eli let out a deep breath.

"Goliah."

"Goliah?" Clare asked, her eyes widening. Eli was starting to look annoyed.

"Yes, Goliah."

"Oh," Clare murmured in realization. That was who she had seen earlier that day. "Why's he here?"

Eli shrugged, but he knew the answer. "He never told me," he replied innocently. "But you, my dear, have some things to explain. Like why you were walking on the rails."

Clare looked down, shameful. "I don't know." She said as if she were a little kid.

"That's bull shit and you know it, Clare. Your bipolarity is just getting worse, and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Take me home," she quickly replied. Eli shook his head. "Why not?"

"You aren't stable; you wouldn't get better at my house."

"But that's where your wrong, Mr. Goldsworthy. I was better at your house than I am here; I mean, do you see what this place is doing to me?"

Eli rolled his eyes. "You're frustrated; I get that part, but I brought you here for a reason. I want to see you better."

Clare jerked away from his grasp. "What if I don't get better?" She spat, getting up and walking to her room. Eli followed behind her.

"You will, Clare. It just takes time." His desperation for her to cooperate was one hundred percent shown, but Clare didn't take it in.

Clare closed the door after her, looking between the bars at his face. "You don't look anywhere near broken like I am since I've been here. Do you even care that I'm going through this?"

"Clare," he exclaimed. "You know I care! I love you!"

Clare shook her head, tears coming to surface again. "It's over, Eli." She stated, walking over to her bed.

"Clare!" He confusedly yelled at her.

"Go away, Eli." She retorted, falling into a deep sleep.

_On Top_

It was almost 6 AM when Clare awoke, smiling to herself. She knew what she was going to do today. She walked over to the door, opening it as quietly as she could as to not wake her roommate or any of her neighbors. No guards were on duty at this time of hour; it was something stupid that the managers didn't think of doing.

She looked in on every room that she passed, looking for that reckless boy. The one that she learned was her 'second choice'. When Clare got to the floor underneath her room, she smirked. In one of the rooms was the boy, peacefully sleeping with his jacket hood over his head.

Goliah always kept the door unlocked; it was a choice that you could make. Clare opened the door, sneaking into the one-person room.

"Goliah," she whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. He mumbled something under his breath. "Goliah." She repeated, but this time with more strength. Goliah jumped before moaning.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked, his eyes still closed. "I don't get my pills until the afternoon." Clare sat on the edge of the bed.

"I want to talk, _Goliah_." Goliah opened his eyes hastily, trying to figure out if Clare was just another apparition.

"Is that actually you, or am I still dreaming?"

Clare laughed, rolling her eyes. "It's me," she reassuringly said. "So can we talk?"

Goliah nodded quietly, sitting up in his bed. He patted the empty room so that she could lean against the wall. Clare obliged.

"How are things?" Clare asked, although she didn't care. Goliah shook his head.

"Horrible." He stated, looking down at his hands. Clare's eyebrow rose.

"Why is it horrible?" She asked.

"You wouldn't understand," he sighed, closing his eyes again. Clare shook him with little force. "Why are you even here? There must be something that you want so that you can continue to make my life horrible."

Clare's eyes widened. "I never made your life horrible." She argued.

Goliah snorted. "Yeah, sure." He remarked. "Then why am I here, getting help to get you out of my head? My mental health is poor ever since you've screwed me up like you have."

Clare shook her head. "It's not my fault." She responded.

Goliah looked at her with an angry expression. "It _is_ your fault, Clare, and I know it. You led me on; I didn't know you were dating my cousin! But then _I_ was the one who fell for you, and you just played me on. Is there anything good that comes out of that for me?"

Clare thought about it for a moment. She never thought that she ruined his life; she didn't notice that she was doing bad things at the same time. She was just having the fun that she deserved to have as a teenager.

She put her hand lightly above Goliah's. "I'm sorry," she replied. "I was caught up in the moment, and I do like you; never think that I don't."

Goliah's blue eyes were so different than Clare's. His were no longer the strong, sarcastic ones that he had when Clare was around. They were almost fully gray. Taking his hand away from her grasp, he sat farther away from her.

"I can't fall for you again," he whispered. Clare crawled closer to him.

"Why can't you?" She seductively said, trying to show all the lust that she had been hiding from everyone. Clare was always a good actress.

Goliah swallowed. "You'll just hurt me again," he whimpered. "I can't handle it anymore."

Clare's face was just an inch away from his. "I won't hurt you again." She sternly told him, and before she could close the gap Goliah did. Clare grabbed onto his hair, pulling it hard. Goliah took Clare underneath him, grabbing her waist. Their kisses were desperate, and when Clare thought he was around her finger Clare went to base two. She brought her hands under his shirt, caressing his abs. Goliah moaned into her mouth, Clare smirking in response.

Clare could hear the guards' boots not far away, so she pulled off Goliah and walked over to the door. "I'll see you later." She huskily said. Goliah looked at her, still love stricken, and nodded.

Once Clare was out of Goliah's sight, she smirked. She crawled into her bed with a new mischievous plan forming.

* * *

**Like usual, R/R if you like the chapter! It's good to know that you actually like where the storyline's going :)**

**Also, I may be late updating tomorrow. Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I'm going all out with one of my friends :D if you want the details I'll put them up tomorrow.**

**Replies:**

**EClarefan4ever: **I don't get why either. Maybe that's what transgenders go through? I honestly don't know :P

**aaataraxia: **Thank you! :) And here's your update.

**Eclare4life: **Ahh but she hasn't gotten pills.. yet. ;)

**RachRox12: **Thank you! I'm just kinda going with the flow on the bipolarity so far. :)

**mrld97: **I'm glad that you look forward to it! :)

**Eli and Clare Forever: **I surely will :)

**RingLeaderDegrassiFreakCircus: **Thank you :) and yeah; if I were Eli, I think I would've been freaking out, too!


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